hidden tears

They tell me "i want you, you're beautiful."
And my eyes that search for meaning,
Long for love,
Naively... they believe it.
They believe that there's someone
that loves and cares... even though.
It was never true.



And then they realize
They were wrong
And they feel so alone, lost, used
They don't know what to do.

But you must hide the tears,
hide the pain.
Those sparkling blue eyes ... they're fake.
They hide tears, they hide pain.
When all they want to do
Is close forever

a million miles an hour

Anxious.
I pace back and forth.
I ask why.
I don't understand.
Can't concentrate.
So I run.
Farther and farther.
Faster and faster.
Until I cannot run any further.
So I study.
Until I feel like my brain will explode.
I lift weights.
Until i cannot feel the pain in my arms.
I pace.
Back and forth.
Back and forth.
I am exhausted... I just want to sleep.
But I can't.
I am fighting something.
I don't know what it is.
I don't want to know what will happen.
If it wins.
I pace back and forth.
My head, it's pounding.
Exhausted.
I wonder if I can keep going.
This struggle is tearing me apart.
I want to fall.
I want to rest in your arms.
Safe and content and happy.
Forever.
Where are you?
So far away.
I miss you.
I ache to be with you.
Forever.
...
What do I do?
I cannot let it win.
Exhausted, I collapse.
Tears... run down my face.
Uncontrollable.