a million miles an hour

Anxious.
I pace back and forth.
I ask why.
I don't understand.
Can't concentrate.
So I run.
Farther and farther.
Faster and faster.
Until I cannot run any further.
So I study.
Until I feel like my brain will explode.
I lift weights.
Until i cannot feel the pain in my arms.
I pace.
Back and forth.
Back and forth.
I am exhausted... I just want to sleep.
But I can't.
I am fighting something.
I don't know what it is.
I don't want to know what will happen.
If it wins.
I pace back and forth.
My head, it's pounding.
Exhausted.
I wonder if I can keep going.
This struggle is tearing me apart.
I want to fall.
I want to rest in your arms.
Safe and content and happy.
Forever.
Where are you?
So far away.
I miss you.
I ache to be with you.
Forever.
...
What do I do?
I cannot let it win.
Exhausted, I collapse.
Tears... run down my face.
Uncontrollable.