it was a different world

...two weeks ago.
And now, my life has changed. So much that I don't really know where to start. Everything is different: my job, my school, my future, the people in my life I care about... The past two weeks have been amazing, fun, exciting, challenging, stressful, exhausting. I'm worn out and I pray that God would refresh me.

Things are...completely over with my latest boyfriend. I made a lot of mistakes for which I am eternally sorry. I wish that we could still be friends but I guess that's in God's hands. God always knows best and soemtimes He does things that we don't understand so I'm just trusting Him.

2 weeks ago today I got to spend time with someone I hadn't realy spent time with since August. Someone that I pray for and think about everyday and hope that maybe someday... God would bless me with a miracle. Sweetie, I never stopped loving you. No matter what, you'll always be a very special part of my life. I pray that God blesses you in everything you do and that He always draw you closer to Himself. I pray that He would protect you as you protect our nation. Do your duty, kick ass, and come home safe. You're in all of our prayers.

I made the long struggled with decision to return to the United States Air Force Academy on June 27, 2007. I realized that that is who I am. I can't try to be someone else and even if maybe life was "funner" if I didn't go back I know that I would regret it everyday. It's going to be a difficult challenge but I know that God will pull me through it.

I got to hang out with Michelle a LOT when she came down for Easter break. Sis, I love you SO SO much. I really do. Like you'll never even know. Michelle went with me down to Corpus Christi where I took care of a bunch of stuff that had been hanging over me. I'm FREEEEE now and let me tell you it feels SO good. :)

I was hired on Friday to work at River Crossing Golf Club as a waitress. :) Dude, I'm really excited. I did training yesterday morning on the beverage cart. That job is going to be completely kick ass. So this means that I will no longer be an HEB slave. I've been there for over 6 months (and yes i DID just get a raise) but I just really couldn't stand the work there anymore. I still have to work there this week but after that I am totally a River Crossing girl. I'm excited!

And other than all that, I've been staying up until ungodly hours of the night studying and working on papers. Which is what I'm fixing to start doing right now... only a few more weeks of school... hopefully I can make it. I have a BIG test in history tomorrow (which will decide whether or not I stay in or have to drop the class - PRAY FOR ME!!!!!) and a major term paper due on Thursday. So I am off to study. :)

what i do at 3am

So yeah, it's almost 3. And I am just now printing up a Psychology summary paper that I did on marijuana and the brain. The paper sucks but at least I got it done. I am usually not so mediocre toward my school work but I guess that's what never getting sleep and working on freaking Psychology at 3am does to you. I probably would have done a better job on my marijuana paper if I was high. jk jk.


In other news...


Shane's been home... and I have had so much fun hanging out with him. I don't want him to leave but I'm so proud of what he's doing... ♥ I love army boys ♥

sooo.

I sent in all of my paperwork.

Which means I am waiting for a couple of different clearance letters but unless there are some unforeseen glitches then I will once again became Basic Cadet Martinez as of June 28. 2007. I'm getting excited....... and I'm getting prepared this time, like hardcore. I even have a personal trainer :). It's soon. I'm really scared. So much more than last time. But I'm also really excited.

i travel far away, and dream my destiny

Rules only hold us down if we let them.
Be who you dream of being.

Don't let your society shape you... shape your society.

Dream your own destiny.
And let it fly away.

So... I have definitely not been living in the present lately. And it has been so freaking amazing. I have flown away into the past and changed a destiny that was written in stone.
You have to dictate you


.....i am loooooooooooking for a good song.........