and so THIS is Christmas?

it's looking forward to being one of the weirdest Christmases of my life. But then again, this has probably been the weirdest, craziest, hardest, most awesome YEAR of my life. I have about a week off of work and I'm loving it, wrapping Christmas presents, and trying to get into the Christmas spirit.

On Sunday morning I got up early and went to church, stopping off at the coffee shop on the way there. ...OH MY GOD... i think that I almost had a heart attack because I saw someone that I wasn't expecting to see. That night after church and a youth party I went driving... FAST... and for a long time. As I drove, I poured my heart out to God like I have never done before and I sobbed as many painful tears ran down my face. I asked Him for just one more chance - 1 more chance at life, 1 more chance at love. I drove to a little place I call the lake and I sat on the hood of my car and I cried tears that I had been holding back for way too long.

Yesterday was work and hanging out with Julie at the coffee shop and then going to movies, IHOP, and Walmart. It was seriously like going back in time, totally awesome. Girl, I miss you like crazy when you're at school. You're one of the best friends in the world. :)

Today, other than being threatened with a restraining order for buying my brothers Christmas presents, I really don't know WHAT I'm doing, haha. It'll be an adventure................