dizzy

So much running through my head.

I wish that I could be a better Christian. I long for that close relationship with God that it seems that everyone has but me. They are all so happy and content and cared for. My reputation at work is so screwed. How do I show them that I am different? I feel like I cannot mention God because I do not want to tarnish His Holy name with my bad reputation.

I want to be a better girlfriend to Matt. But I don't know how. In all my other relationships with guys, they all expected something of me. And Matt doesn't. And I don't know what to do. Please pray for me guys..............

I want a purpose.
I want to find my place in this world.